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What happens when you find your date’s Instagram or Facebook page before you meet?You go line by line, post by post creating a narrative about who you think they are and you start jumping to conclusions like Spiderman swinging from Manhattan skyscrapers.Guys who are intimidated by it aren’t worth your time, meaning you’ll have dodged a bullet.In fact, an OKCupid study found that when a woman contacted a man first, 30 percent of those messages turned into a conversation.Let me be clear: this is different from setting impossible expectations about their appearance and the zeros on their paycheck.I’m talking about putting up with behaviors that you know you don’t like such as rudeness, lateness, smoking, or other deal breakers.
Basically, you’re dating someone, but you’re still DM-ing and texting other people. This lacks kindness and generosity and you can’t build a lasting, healthy relationship this way. This is a symptom of some deeper, emotional insecurities that need to be unpacked if you’re to break this habit.No one wants to hear about your ex—especially not on the first date.Not only does it communicate to your date that you may not be over your ex, but studies show that people who admit to being dishonest, manipulative, and cheating to get their way are more likely to be friends with an ex. Planning Boring First Dates Grabbing coffee or drinks tells me you go on lots of dates and you want to quickly interview me to see if I’m worth the time—just about everyone does it.Next thing you know, you’re sending screenshots of their page to your friends and all of sudden your little CIA operation is putting your date on the “no fly” list.
Judge your date by how they show up, and allow yourself to be in the moment.Establish guiding principles for yourself so you’re not disappointed.